♥ ♥ ♥

Hello, my name is paper and I am a piece of paper.
My purpose is to have people write on me and to be printed by printers.
I like the smell of wood because it smells like my parents.
My ambition is to be thrown away and recycled.

(lmao i don't know what to put in here, so thanks Claire for the message.)

your profile here.

Today, I am very angered by the words of someone whom I was close with about 8 years ago but have lost contact since. His name is yiping. Remember the police car incident? Yes, it's him. I am very pissed with him because he said something that angered me a lot. He said, "you are not even halfway towards being successful yet. if you are really up there, you wouldn't be talking to me here already. Ni bu xiang zuo da shi de ren la (you are not meant to achieve big things in life)." WHAT THE FUCK???? Hello, firstly, you don't assume that you know me very well, ok? One look and u know whether I am "the kind" that will be successful in life a not? u fortune teller ah? Fuck you. What give u the right to say such statement? Secondly, 8 whole years has passed ever since u met me, well people change over time don't you know? You don't use the impression and mindset gathered 8 years ago and judge me. Again, who r u to judge me? Thirdly, your attitude just sucked. Who the hell asked you for your opinion?

I felt a dire need to blog today, something which happens as often as once in a green moon.

So much has happened, too much has happened. I used to think that a couple of years or a decade prolly makes no difference to a person. Boy, was I ever wrong.

I profess that the years in which Jane has gone through remarkable changes would be from year 2011 to till now. and, yes, im still in made-in-progress mode.

My first real transformation happened when I quit S*vcsource. Why? Because I entered into the world of financials. I was introduced to the world of finance, and I realised that the click of money really made me tick. I was in love. With this exposure, I took to trading sg equities. So thank you, Jane of 2011, for making such an important decision in time.

My second transformation was during the period where I worked for DZ & C*ss (Cuss). Although time time spent there was really not too much to brag about given that I wasn't given any salary at all, I learnt how to speak and present and negotiate at real corporate meetings. I saw how the business setting was important, how the timing was important, and choosing the angle the world sees you was important. Although I still feel disgust when I think about you, you lousy hell of a boss, I'm glad I stood and observed. I learnt why receipts were important. I learnt why having black and white is important. And more importantly, I also learnt how to not let my future staff disrespect me by learning the direct opposite of what you do. It was a lousy time, but it was worth its mention in time. All these exposure led me to Senior Account Manager of an MNC. I remember thanking God for this.

(As a side note, thanks also for letting me go through hell when I went for MOM investigation and court session. And thank God also that, even though Alex wasn't fighting by my side, at least you sent Edmund to help me overcome this period of extreme grief and shock.)

My third transformation, was when I broke up with Edmund. Thanks be to God for making me realise that sometimes loving less is loving more. I was edging towards possessiveness, yet blinded by it. I wanted the whole world to be just him and me. I stepped over the line, I told him that if he could forsake his friends I will stop going out with mine too. Bad move, and I can see why now. The clear minded and focused jane could see why now. Loving less is loving more. Literally. Spread the love. Family love, friendship care, everyone could use an extra dosage of love and concern, why concentrate it all on one person and make him stress? yes, I could see now why he broke up with me then, the past-jane. But boy oh boy, the pain was torturous, I hope i'd never have to go thru this pain ever again. (I drowned out my sorrow using hard liquor on rocks and wine and studying stocks and charts. Go figure.)

My fourth transformation was work related. I really hated all that I had to go thru when I was a broker, but im glad it happened. It made me realise that money wasn't all that I was looking for, I was looking for pride and dignity as well. I got none of that when I was a junior broker, because the seniors basically were inhuman. Yes, the money was good, but i'd much rather keep my pride and sanity, thankyouverymuch. Waking up at 6.30am for work and forcing me to work til the wee hours at 3.30am isn't very humane, judging by most people's standards. not being able to go eat during lunch and having to watch u eat is inhumane. really. the money's good, but no thanks. the people *really* sucks.

Brokers adore traders and worship them like gods. Naturally, I started to look for trader position in my next job search. eventually, yes, I got to be a trader, but the job is radically different. I got to be a proprietary trader, which basically means analysing charts and figures for hours on end and making the right trades after analysing the right buy and sell trades. I would make profit for the company in this manner. The skills came in really handy for my regular trading soon after, and continues to remain a top skill in my life.

After that basically I went on to pursue an honours degree in finance (something which I swore I wouldn't do from 2007 to 2012), and got into the business of fund management (a job which I could have landed myself in when I graduated from poly in 2007). But looking back, had I made the supposedly "right" choices at the first turn of my life, I doubt I would have learnt and garnered the array of skills I learnt, and be humbled by the experience.

Toy Promoter > Credit Card Roadshow Promoter > Admin girl > Front Desk Exec > Banker > Sales Representative (Account Mgmt) > Account Mgmt Exec > Senior Account Manager > Oil Broker > Trader > Fund Manager

I'm still made-in-progress. Let's see what I'll become in a few years time.

i have never hated anyone as much as the old witch, Ng Saw Sian, and you, Tan Kok Hong, you really takes the cake.

I wish that you will not get an easy death.

i am a kind person by nature, i will normally not wish any harm or injury inflicted or death to any person.

YOU, TAN KOK HONG, you tmd son of a bitch why cant u just pay me my money YOU MORON???????

im not even claiming you of commission. it's just basic pay!

wtf u dont even have money to pay me for my basic pay??????

duke tan, you never kena run over by truck at least 3 times, its really your good fortune liao.

what is the problem with you??????

why cant you just PAY UP, you no balls son of a bitch fcking idiot????????!@!!!@!!@@@

what the fck is wrong with you?????????????????????????????????????????????

tmd!!!!!!!

waste so much of my time!!!!

FCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i wish someone will slowing pluck out your fingers and toes one by one, then let you die a slow cold death. what the fuck is wrong with you???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????


why cant u pay me my money you son of a bitch mtherfcker?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


CCB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you no balls. you really no balls.

WTF????????????????????????????????????????????????????

rmb i wanted to take a finance degree?

it's all because i wanted to have my dream job as a stockbroker/trader/broker.

amazingly, without a degree, i managed to get my dream job as an oil broker.

am so happy. will start in a few weeks time.


*****

looking at some model's blog, i remember looking at the same blog 4 years ago and vowed to myself that i would be as pretty as her, and lead a life of luxuries and be just as well travelled as her, and have a darling bf who pampers her.

four years later, the very same jane, looking back at my mirror image, i am very happy to say that i have achieved the standard that i have set for myself.

wo zuo dao le.

wo zhen de hen kai xin.

I love him.

I thought i didnt mean anything to him.

But no, he bought a diamond ring for me after knowing me for 8 months.

He bought it with his hard earned money, not by casino winnings.

Ah, everything feels so right.

Love is in the air. :)

i suddenly feel that 2.7k per month is bangla pay.

As per title.

Wondering why I said that?

I was just amused at how my life turned out just by making seemingly small irrelevant decisions.

Upon graduation from secondary school, I just wanted a job to earn some pocket money.
Mum passed over some newspapers that she was reading and said, "why not try this $1200 sales job?"
And that was how I plunged into my first job in the sales industry.
If she had pointed to a different ad, Lord knows where I'd be right now.

Had I not had the sales experience, I wouldn't have gone for a sales job in a bank.
Had I not had exposure in the financial industry, my curiosity towards investments wouldnt have been aroused.
If I wasn't curious over foreign exchange and money markets, I wouldnt have wanted to learn about it.
Had I not picked up the Today paper at harbourfront mrt that fateful morning, I wouldn't have seen the ad about the pattern trader course.
Had I not attended the course, I would not have firmed up my interest and future in the financial sector.
I decided that I loved investments so much so that I actually took up a degree for it.
And had I not accidentally stumbled on the job ad, I wouldnt have landed on this job.
And I couldn't have landed on this job, if not for all the relevant sales experience that I have garnered over the years.

So thank you mum, for pointing the right ad to me when I had no idea what to do with my life after o levels.
I guess you'll never know just how much it has impacted me and my career.
Kudos to mummy.

your links here.

layout:
lyricaltragedy

your tagboard here.